Everything You See is Suspect

This doesn't have anything to do with cars (which is probably a relief to some of you).

Today I went to pick up new glasses: regular and sun. The sunglasses are polarized, which I don't think I've worn before. When I put them on in the shop, everything - including my glasses in my reflection - was "shiny," which the optician attributed to the polarization. Otherwise, they seemed fine - until I went outside. Everything felt "black and white," like when you wear a pair of old-fashioned 3-D glasses (red and blue) outside. Again, I chalked it up to polarization, new prescription, etc., until I got in the truck and drove toward the brightly illuminated asphalt of the parking lot. Something was wrong, and I couldn't determine what until I alternately closed one eye. The asphalt was bright white through one lens, but black with texture through the other.

I took them back in and tried to describe to the optician what I saw, without trying to sound deranged. Finally, she looked through them at a polarization test/display image. Here's what we saw:

Without Polarization

Correct Polarization

"Inverse?" Polarization

Once I looked at the display, I had a twinge of "Matrix" paranoia (although I admit I've not seen the movie, so forgive my naive reference) that you can't really trust anything you see. If just a change in some coating on my lens (invisible when looking at the lens) can 1) bring out an image not there, and 2) reverse it subjectively depending upon how the coating is applied, then how can one trust anything we see? (And don't even get me started on manipulated images in popular media.)

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501s: Case Closed

To bring a merciful end to this hapless fashion thread for all 3 of you following the misadventures of my shrink-to-fit 501s: I finally wore them this weekend. They fit great. It was worth the agony. I'm a regular fashion plate.

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$4.50 Fashion Fix

Loyal readers (all 3 of you) will recall my misadventures with a pair of what used to be one of the bastions of American fashion: Levi's 501s.

So, I never provided an update on my 1-800 call: I can return them to the store (an insult and annoyance to the store owner, as far as I'm concerned, as it was Levi's who created the problem, not them) or to Levi's via a return form (but no reimbursement to me for the shipping to them). So I ask for the form remorsefully, knowing I'm unlikely to return the jeans because of the cost, annoyance, and most of all, all the fun/labor I spent shrinking them to fit. So I began thinking of alternative solutions.

The easiest, and what turned out to be the cheapest and best, was simply asking my dry cleaner to mend them. She did an admirable job. And for all of $4.50. Are you kidding me? I almost kissed her when she handed them over looking just like a factory fix, folded up in their plastic bag, and told me my total.

Next episode in this (probably terribly boring) fashion story will be the jeans' debut. Stay tuned (har de har).

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411 on the 501s

Yeah, so I'm happy as can be when I grab the Levi's from the washing machine and toss them in the drier.  They LOOK like my shape.  I'm excitedly optimistic about my next classic fit 501s.

UNTIL I grab them from the drier when they're done and discover to my deep disappointment and disgust that one of the belt loops has simply come undone on one side.  Thank you, Levi Strauss et al., for shipping your manufacturing off-shore and relying upon your guarantee to mop up the resulting messes.

SO, now I get to call their 800 number, speak to someone in another country about my formerly American product that was shoddily made in yet another foreign country.  I suspect the irony will be lost on them.

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Oh, the fine art of shrinking Levi's 501s

So I finally dug out the shrink-to-fit 501s I bought at the cowboy store a couple months ago(!) for the time consuming yet satisfying task of shrinking them to fit ME.

If ya haven't done this, it's an art that has many methods.  My method, which I'd previously used successfully, involves putting them on and soaking in a warm tub (see link - thank you Al Gore for the internet).  However, my vintage tub would probably soak up the leaching indigo, so on to Plan B.

Plan B involved waiting for a nice, hot day like today (99+ in the shade?), putting on the 501s, soaking myself and wearing them until I felt they "took," then into the washing machine.  And my plan went fine until I realized 1) I hadn't looked at the "first washing" instructions, and 2) I had no modest way to get from the garage (where the laundry is) to the house once I divested myself of the 501s!

So, I got to wander around the yard until the indigo drips were minimal, tread lightly through the house to get the instructions and a pair of shorts, then back outside to more soaking and reading a book while my pants set.

Anyway, they're in the laundry now, and should come out great.  Last time I did this they were the best-fitting pair of jeans I had, and they seemed to last a longer time before the knees blew out, too.

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